Rules. People just love them, though they will never admit it.

 

On Facebook I blocked all the posts on the miraculous, or dangerous qualities of food. It's driving me nuts to read about yet another super food, or how the things I eat daily are bad, bad, bad for me. I know people who try to avoid gluten, while they don't have coeliac disease. Or they hear about lactoses intolerance and immediately cut dairy products from their diet. And of course you have to drink 2 litres of clear water a day. And that should be clear water, not tea or fruit juice, mind you!

It reminds me of the 613 mitzvot (commandments) of orthodox Judaism that make relaxed normal living virtually impossible. Or all the rules invented by the Muslim youths that follow the selefi sect. Like: if you notice a hole in your sock after praying, your prayer is invalid and you have to do it again, after you took off your socks. Ridiculous isn't it?

But is it not just as ridiculous to measure the amount of water you drink every day? Or to never eat cooked food anymore? Why do people do this to themselves?!
I guess there is some comfort in following strict rules. Follow the rules and you're doing it right. You don't have to choose, you don't have to doubt, you know what you have to do.

At first I thought that all these fashionable foody rules would have something to do with the overload of choices in modern society. If you are vegan and don't eat sugar, you can skip 95% of the shelves in the supermarket. Hurray!
But there must be more to it, because people have been inventing arbitrary rules for millennia.
Especially religious rules of course: go to church on Sundays, no meat on Fridays, no work on Sabbath, pray 5 times a day, or else something really bad might happen!
Don't eat wheat or sugar, drink your water, eat your goji berries, or something really bad might happen!

Is the modern health food rage a substitute for religion maybe? To avoid disaster there is a given set of rules. Follow those and you keep things under control, you won't get cancer.

People just love rules, as long as they feel it is their own choice to follow them.

Let's take a look at our neo pagan community. Modern witches love to think of themselves as free spirited, independent thinkers, who broke free from the cage of organized religion. But in fact the majority is clinging to a rather fixed set of customs, that were written down in some books during the last half century. The wheel of the year with 8 festivals, a ritual has to start with the casting of a circle, Air is in the east and there are 3 grades of initiation, etc. And everyone works with lists of correspondences, that are most of the time invented by just one person.

These rules give structure to your practice and create a common ground for collaboration.
But they are completely arbitrary in fact, isn't that funny?
Gardner, Crowley, Buckland, the Farrars and others have written down their ideas and no one is hardly ever questioning them now. Just follow the rules and you do it right. Even in the non hierarchical, almost anarchistic, Reclaiming I met someone who told me, that if I did not do things a certain way, I could not call myself a Reclaimer. (which was bullocks btw)

In this way modern witchcraft has also become a kind of organized religion. With above mentioned writers at the top of the hierarchy, followed by the initiated, or self proclaimed, high priestesses, who will teach others how things should be done. Whole branches of modern witchcraft only know how to follow the rules laid down in books and on websites. Which leads to rituals that only follow form, but have no content, because people never thought about WHY they do certain things in a certain way. They are just stressing about details like finding the right colour candles and altar cloth.

As long as you wear your pentagram, as long as you have all the right tools on your altar, as long as you can read the invocation from a book, without mistake, you must be doing it right. Right?
Put the altar in the North, celebrate harvest in August, dance naked in the moonlight and for goodness sake don't mess up any correspondences, or something really bad might happen. You might not be a real witch! :)

I guess rules are just a way for people to deal with their insecurities. If you're not sure who or what you are, you can stick to a set of noble rules and know that you must be a good person. A better person than those who don't follow the rules. Which explains the smirk on the face of the lady in the health food store, who told me it was impossible to not like soy milk.

Claimed by Thor

 

Many years ago, I went to a special place in the woods to dedicate myself to a Goddess. 

But the ritual did not go as I had planned. It was not meant to be, not at that time in my life.
When it comes to true initiation, it is not the humans who decide. A person can not claim a Deity, it is the other way around. The Gods choose their humans.

So when I walked out of that forest, I had been claimed by Thor.

 

I was a little puzzled by what had just happened, but it felt good. It was right on many deep levels. And after all these years I'm still grateful that Thor stepped into my life at that moment.
He is the Very Best Friend a girl like me can have!


Thor is the Guardian of everything good, fertile and sacred. And He is not a bit shy to use force to protect what is important to Him. Annoy Him and he will swing his lightning hammer at you. He is in complete control of the lightning and the energy in it: electricity. And this is not His only strength, He is the Son of Earth and is in fact invincible.

Many people make the mistake to think that Thor is just a muscle man with little brains. This is because of some stories about Him that were (re)written in Christian times. The leaders of the new religion had every reason to try to put down the most popular Deity of the common folks. They could not deny his strength, so they depicted Him as just a dumb bully.

But Thor has deep rooted wisdom and knowledge. He is not cunning like Odin, but He is wise, clever and straightforward. Standing His ground and protecting the ground with all means possible if necessary.


So after He claimed me, I started to really like Him. 

But only recently I've come to understand why he chose me. Actually it is quite obvious, but I couldn't see what was right under my nose.

I am His kind. Of course!

I'm a fighter and I protect what is important and sacred to me with all means at hand – in my case: words. I have strong feelings about honesty, truth, justice, respect, equality and I tend to lash out whenever my principles are violated. I can get really vicious when I sense dishonesty or hypocrisy, or harmful stupidity.

This is not acceptable in my culture, specially not for a woman. Countless people , friend and foe, told me to tame my words. So I started reading about non violent communication and did the best I could. But it has always been a struggle, because it's against my nature not to speak out freely.

Toning down your words is not always effective BTW. At times you just need to be sharp (even a little mean) to get a message through. Lets be honest for a moment. Most people love to read a critical text and many also love to read some good word fighting online. But they will condemn the writers later, after the entertainment is over.

This morning I made a trance journey and I invited all my Helpers to share their wisdom and advise. Not just one group, but all of them, my Ancestors, my Spirit Helpers, my Power Animals and the Gods. My question was: What is the energetic or spiritual cause of my increasingly bad health. (Asthma among other things)
And in stepped Thor, together with Bear.

Thor's message was very clear.
He said that I have more and more difficulty with breathing, because I don't speak freely anymore. I do not use the strength that was given to me, so it is turning inwards and against me.

Hm

So dear folks, whenever I lash out in the future, just remember I always mean well.

I really do!!!
If you don't like my tone of voice, I'm sorry. But I have to be, who I am born to be and not what you like me to be. We all have our own roles to play in this game we call life. And people with sharp tongues have their place too. Sometimes things need to be said and I'm one of those people who is not afraid to say them.

You can shoot the messenger, if you like, or you can try to understand the message. The choice is all yours.

I will keep trying to choose my words carefully, but I will stop biting my tongue.

Hail Thor!

A candle a day won't chase your monsters away

Found this cute candle holder at www.wulflund.com

I burn candles for other people on a regular basis. I feel it is a great way to add something extra to your best wishes. It is a little extra energy you can send to the Spirit Helpers, for them to use to assist the person you burn the candle for. Always when I light a candle for this purpose, I say a prayer with it. Otherwise, I feel, it is just an empty gesture. Maybe the prayer is more important than the candle itself, which might just be a nice focus point.

Also in case of a disagreement, I will often light a little tea light. Wishing for the well-being of the other person and sending light to the problem, so we might find a way out. Again this is a little extra energy to support the finding of a solution.

For a while I've been surrounded by people who would use candle magic for any given problem. And in case of quarrels they would certainly advise to burn a tea light. An other advise they would give is to let go.
Burn a candle and let go.
"Give it light and forget about it, don't hang on to the problem!" Is the advise I was given repeatedly.
I really tried. And I can tell you it does not work.

Pain needs to be acknowledged, not pushed away. A conflict needs talking, to be resolved and problems need to be faced. Just lighting a candle, is walking away from your responsibility as an adult to handle the difficulties in life.
It might seem like a beautiful spiritual solution, this uplifting your spirit with light. But it can become a base excuse for hiding from everything you don't like.
Let me  quote Jung here:
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

If you don't face your problems, if you're not willing to talk about conflict, you are just fooling yourself with your little tea lights. Nothing will be resolved, you will just feel a little better for the moment, while all the 'un-niceness' lies rotting and is growing under its cover.
This is why there are truth commissions in parts of the world where horrific conflicts have to be solved. Darkness has to be faced and talked about, pain needs to be expressed. You will only be ably to really let go and move on, when your story has been heard.

It was nice to learn to work with more light, but I'm very grateful that I had already learned to work with darkness too. You can find TRUE light in the deepest darkness, but only if you dare to go there. Surrounding yourself with candles and hoping that the darkness will go away, is deceiving yourself, and others.

Today while pondering this theme and remembering how I broke with the 'light a candle and let go people' I realized this about myself:
I have a sharp mind, I have sharp eyes, I have a sharp third eye.
And if you piss me of I have a sharp tongue too.
Some people hate me for this, but I'm kinda proud to be able to see darkness in others AND in my self, to talk about it, accept it and then burn a little candle to relieve it.

Light and Darkness

Yesterday I attended an evening in memory of a special lady, who decided to leave this world recently. It was a lovely event, organized with so much love and care. A community of beautiful people commemorating a beloved member who passed away so unexpectedly.

It brought back memories of another large mourning ritual, the funeral of a pagan leader. And I couldn't help noticing some distinct differences.

Yesterday was a new age gathering and usually I never really feel at home in this kind of setting. But this time it felt good, I admired the dedication, the love and care this community showed. Beautiful speeches full of appreciation, gratitude, humility and hope. Lovely music played by inspired and sometimes emotional artists.

What a contrast with some of the speeches at that other funeral, with a lot of self-importance and worst of all: covert vinger pointing to the person who was seen by some as the root cause of the deceased's illness. Ego boosting and back stabbing, this was my community of witches and pagans, but I did not at all feel comfortable there that night.

So yesterday I was struck by this difference between Paganism and New Age. And I thought it obvious that in New Age a lot more attention is given to personal development. In contrast with paganism where more emphasis lies on ritual skills and magic.

But on my way home I realized something had been missing on this memorial evening. Yes, this girl was enthusiastic, energetic, radiant and her smile was amazing, but. . . . . . she did take her own life.
And, though a beautiful poem about inner darkness was read and her boyfriend did talk about taking more notice of the troubles of your neighbors across the street . . . . .,  no-one spoke about how not anyone in this loving community had been able to prevent this tragedy. No-one spoke about how there could be others, dancing right beside you or even hugging you, who are also hiding an almost unbearable pain behind a lovely smile.

Light and love covering the darkness behind the masks, in one community. And ugly darkness covering the light of what had also been good, in the other.
Of course this is a black and white picture that does no justice to both groups of people. It is just my observation, frozen in this moment of time.
It leaves me with the question I've been asking myself so often lately: where are the people I can feel really at home with?

Light and dark, both present inside me. I've been fascinated by darkness for many years and loved to surround myself with people who are not afraid of dark and death, secrets and the occult. But I grew into appreciating light, love and compassion more and more.

So now where do I belong ? Somewhere in the middle I guess.
Would anyone care to join me? Please?