What is a priestess - in my view

 

I've been asked this question several times lately, so I decided to take up blogging again and pick this subject as a (re)starter.

Before I begin, let's get one thing straight. Whenever I type “priestess” and “she”, please feel free to read “priest” and “he”, and vice versa! When I write God(s), feel free to read Goddess(es) and vice versa as well :)

There are many different roads that lead to the Divine.

Some sandy and winding, some slippery and descending, some rocky and climbing. There are highways and bypasses, detours and shortcuts. Anyone can find and walk most of these roads all by themselves.

But some roads are nicely paved and this pavement is the work of priests. A good priestess paves the road for others and places some road signs, so it's a bit easier to find your way.

Of course over the centuries there have been many priests,of many religions who put up roadblocks after they had build their road. Claiming their path was the best, but not allowing people to walk there themselves. That's a power and control thing common to all people and priests are just people too. As soon as religion gets mixed up with money and politics, these power games start.
That's one of the reasons I want to keep spirituality and business strictly separated.

Please note: some of the roads can be dangerous, in that case it's only wise to put up some blocks, to protect the innocent and naïve from getting damaged!


A priestess paves a road with her devotion and daily ritual. And she builds a entrance to this road, in the form of a shrine or temple. Once the shrine is build she dedicates herself to maintaining and improving the energy flow between this entrance and the end of the road, the Divine.

In other words: A priestess maintains an energy channel between the Divine and the human world, in order to stimulate communication between the Divine and people and to make it easier for others to find their way.
This is the very first task of a priestess. Everything else, like counseling, doing readings, teaching etc, comes second. Of course a priestess should take some responsibility to help people who ask for it. But she should never forget that she is just the 'plumber maintaining the pipeline' and what's important is not the priestess herself, but the energy channel she is working on.

A good channel is ground out with a regular strong energy flow. This flow goes to and fro between the Priestess and the Divine - in the shape of individual Gods. This 'grinding' is done with daily rituals, prayer and offerings.

Gods are living beings of a non material substance. Their names and appearance may be thought up by humans, but behind these imaginary forms They themselves are very real and alive.

All living beings thrive well on good food. For the Gods the best food are offerings of any kind. This can be incense, libations, flowers, fruits, songs, prayers, dances, invocations, or even just mentioning their names in public.

With all this offering a priestess builds a real friendship with one, or some, of the Gods. A mutual friendship! The Gods offer Their help, support, advise and inspiration in return.
Anyone who is not a priest, can build a personal divine friendship like this. But the channel maintained by a priest is not just personal, others can also 'use' it. And the more people walk on this road , the better it gets.

Most of all, the road build and maintained by a dedicated priestess, becomes a highway for the Gods to reach out to people.

Priestessing is just one of the many things a healthy community needs. The work of a priestess is just as important as the work of a baker, a doctor, a farmer, or a parent. (And not more important!)
But you need a calling to do it.

You need certain talents, sensitivity, stamina and a predisposition that, in the end, can only be recognized by the Gods. It's just like the calling to become an artist, or a doctor. You just know that is what you have to do. But if you lack some of the qualifications or the stamina, you won't succeed.

In the case of a priest it is the Gods who decide if you're suitable or not. They call you and They initiate you. Being initiated by humans means nothing more than being initiated into a group or a tradition. Ideally the initiation by humans and the Gods take place simultaneously. But often that does not happen at all! And an initiation by humans is not necessary, the Gods can help themselves very well, thank you.

That being said, of course every priest needs some kind of training, to learn the skills needed.
But it is the Gods who choose you, who push you around until you made the right choice . And the Gods decide if you are ready for initiation or not, if you have developed the right skills, if your devotion is deep enough and if you are mature enough to handle the responsibility.

Becoming a priestess is not in the first place about personal development. But it comes with the package. You can only develop the right skills, if you are able and willing to let go of immature wants, needs, expectations and convictions. This can take many years and you yourself are the only one who can do this work. If the Gods feel you are a good candidate, They will give you plenty of opportunities to become a true adult. Kicking and screaming, if necessary.

There is so much more to be said about this subject and I'm sure this blog will raise some questions. Please feel free to ask them. :)

Is it OK to insult the Gods?

To me the Gods have personalities and sometimes I may not like what They (don't!) say or do. Sometimes I can even get really angry with Them, just like with human beings.

I remember one day when I was particularly upset with The Goddess and I covered Her whole altar, because I did not want to see Her for a while. It didn't last for long, the house felt so empty and cold, I removed the cloth within a few hours. She was there for me, as always and we 'talked' things over. This kind of incidents always happen when there’s a lesson for me, that I don’t want to see . . .

So at certain times I don't like my Gods at all and I let them know.
I feel being honest about your feelings is basic for a healthy relationship.  Anyway They know how I feel, so hiding would be silly.

But you don't have to insult someone when you're angry.
I know I have insulted people in the past, after all I'm only human, but I never scolded a Deity. I did draw the line once in a while, like "I don't want You to do that every again!". Maybe even threatened to remove an altar, or to stop offering. But that was it.

I think it's perfectly OK to be angry with your Gods sometimes and express it. Privately!
Even if you want to insult Them, go ahead, it's your own responsibility.
But in a ritual where people are present whom you are not very close with, it's a different ball game in my opinion. Also if you are not leading a ceremony, your priority should be to consider the feelings of other participants in the group. Because during a ritual everything said or done has extra impact and everyone present has the same right to a pleasant and meaningfull experience.

It happened to me, one day during an asatru weekend, that I hailed Thor, thanking Him for His true friendship over the years and then the person next to me took the horn with mead and started scolding Him. Apparently she had had some trouble with the Gods and She took this opportunity to 'settle her score' with Thor. Calling him untrustworthy and demanding the asnwer she wanted that instant.

I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I did not want to be part of this, but I also did not want to make an even bigger scene by leaving the circle. Later I heard this had not been a spontaneous outburst, this woman had planned to use the energy raised by others, to try to force an answer she had been waiting for, for quite a while. Had I known what she planned to do, I would have chosen not to participate in this ritual. But now it was forced upon me and I didn't know what to do about it.

Some years later I tried to talk about it with her, because we keep meeting each other in the small Dutch pagan community and I hoped it would be possible to clear the air. Maybe she would apologise, or at least acknowledge my uncomfortable feelings about what happened. But she claimed it had been an absolutely normal thing to do in asatru circles and that I was just overreacting. She was shouting at me within a few minutes and I just walked away.

But it left me puzzled.
Really?
Is it OK to insult the Gods in a (semi) public circle for some pagans?

About money and why I like to offer spiritual services for donations only

Nothing gets people more defensive than a discussion about spirituality and money. Last week I followed yet another one of these on Facebook and read some amazingly askew arguments (from my point of view that is )
This made me realize that it might be a good idea to explain why  I prefer to work for donations. Because I learned that it can cause a lot of confusion for people who have a quite different outlook on life.

Let me start with saying that I understand perfectly well that people who give workshops etc, have to pay the rent for a venue and make other costs. And I also understand that money is a very handy medium of exchange and is needed in this society, to buy all the stuff you need to live.  So I have absolutely nothing against people who give spiritual workshops and ask money for it. As long as prices are reasonable and there are no initiations involved.

But I make different choices in life and I have a strong objection against the idea that value can only be expressed in money. To me there are things that are way more important. I feel this focus on money has made the western society sickening, unnecessarely harsh and unnatural . And I think it's a shame that the spiritual community is also contaminated with the virus of marketing and profits. Are these not the people who should know better and who could show a different, better way of living with each other? If they don’t, who will?

The next thing I want to make clear is that I do not ask just for donations, because I feel that what I have to offer isn't worth much. On the contrary! I think there is no price tag that fits my work :-)
A set price means nothing in terms of value. For some  €50,- means very little, they can spend it in half an hour, on lunch. For others it’s the budget they are struggling with for a whole week. So at times €5,- can be much more valuable than €20,- or even €100,-

My spirituality is not about money, I want to keep the two separate for several reasons.
The moment people make themselves dependant on the income coming from their spiritual activities, they will have to face some difficult choices, one day or the other.
For example: Who will you, and will you not, accept as student?
Tough choice when you have to pay the rent and this person with psychological problems will bring two more students...
Or there are not enough subscriptions for your advanced class ....

Money shows its real dark side when it comes to initiation. If your students have already paid for the package, how can you refuse to give what is paid for? No matter if someone is ready for it or not, you will have to deliver this initiation. Which makes it drop in value rapidly.
Now money has become a medium of power and the power is with the one who paid.

The power of money can also be on the side of the teacher of course. When students have paid in advance,  you can be (more or less) sure they won't cancel for just any reason. That way you can force people not to change their mind.
Oh yes, I hate it too when people cancel last minute, or worse: stay away without notice. But at least I know that the people who are there, really want to be there at that moment and did not come just because they didn't want to lose their money.

So I choose not to have to make tough choices. I choose to keep my spirituality as pure as possible.
And I can afford to work this way, because I don't have to rent a venue. My temple is at home.

But I admit, I too do need some money to keep things going. Candles, incense, sage, tea, cookies, cushions, folding chairs, etc don't grow on my balcony.
The donations provide for this, there is always just enough money to buy what is needed. That's the way the universe works.

And yes of course it also happens that people take advantage sometimes. Some people simply can't resist a bargain, while they don't need one. They don't realize they are just lowering their own value as a person, when they force a real bargain on someone, who wasn't offering it in the first place. This is just a symptom of this sick society.
Luckily this is balanced with people who give a little more than necessary.
All in all I'm really blessed with the people around me! :-)

Daily ritual

I remember the time when I used to light a little oil lamp in front of a brass Ohm ornament every day, meditate for one or two minutes and then go on with daily life. It was my little moment for myself, very short, but effective. So when I went to Maroc, for what might have been the most stressful week of my life, I brought a candle and incense sticks. And these little meditative moments pulled me through.
This was some twenty odd years ago and I don't remember when I stopped this little ritual, but I did.

Over the years I developed new daily rituals, meditation, prayer, even yoga for a while, but it never lasted. At first it felt so good and then I would start forgetting, one day, two days, .... then I would start feeling guilty about forgetting. And what started as a lovely, inspiring little thingy had become a big issue, a daily chore that triggered all my feelings of incompetence and any other judgemental thinking about myself.

I don't know how many times I gave up and started all over again with something new. The need, the urge to connect with my higher self and The Divine on a daily basis grew stronger and stronger. I don't know how many altars I build, that ended up gathering dust after a while, because I couldn't keep up the daily routine.

And now, after all these years of struggling, I found the way to keep going. In my house temple I take care of a whole series of different altars on a daily basis. Most important is the main altar for The Goddess of course, but Thor, Odin, Lady Holda, Mary, the Ancestors and my Spirit Helpers also have their own place. All these altars are alive and taken care of.

Most difficult is the oil lamp on the Goddess altar, which I keep burning 24 hours a day. Well … I try to keep it burning, but I found it’s not really in my hands. The wick and the oil are always the same, all I have to do is refill the oil, pull up the wick and clean the whole thing once in a while. But sometimes the flame dies, while all circumstances were perfect. After a lot of confusion I figured out there just is no practical reason, it is one of Her ways to get my attention.

But what taught me a more significant lesson, were the times when the flame kept going against all odds. My health is poor and sometimes I'm just not able to take care of anything for several days. During these periods the flame keeps dancing and shining all by itself.
Not long ago I went through a spiritual crisis and I really didn't feel like taking care of anything. And again the little flame just kept burning and burning.
I had one of my 'talks' with The Lady afterwards and She told me:  "I understand, you needed your time, but I was still there"

And that's how I learned to continue with daily ritual.
The trick is: it doesn't have to be daily all the time !
If you really don't feel like it, just don't. The feeling will come back and you are the only one who is blaming you for skipping a few days.

If a ritual has become an obligation, it turns into an series of empty gestures, because it's not coming from the heart anymore. Just give yourself a break, till the feeling comes back and you will be able to enjoy again your daily little ritual moments.
And if it doesn't come back, it just signifies a radical turn in your spiritual path. Something new will come your way, nothing to worry about.

Just wish someone told me this 25 years ago.....

Priestess here, priestess there, pagan priestesses everywhere.

Years ago I met two ladies who gave a presentation about 'sacred' sites in the Netherlands. They made the most outrages claims about dolmen, without any scientific, historical or archeological ground. I went up to them and asked, as politely as I could, where they had found this information I had never heard of before. One of them straightened her back, looked down on me and said in a low, presumably magical, voice: "We are priestesses!" And that was the end of the conversation as she turned her back on me.

These girls had been 'initiated' after a one year training consisting of about 8 weekend workshops. I've met other women who did similar 'priestess trainings', many of them hardly knew anything about the Goddess before they started. Apparently it takes only one cycle of the sun to learn all about Her, Her mysteries and Her rituals.

I do realize I'm stepping on some toes here. But I really have to get this of my chest. I don't intent to demean the spiritual path of others. I'm sure a training like this will be very meaningful for your personal spiritual development.
But I do want to discuss the inflation of titles, that makes them meaningless.

What to think about an initiated high priestess, who leads large public ceremonies, but is not able to simply hold the energy of a circle? And in the ceremony I attended there were no Deities  invited to be present.

I once asked a lady, who is offering a 'priestess training' and who also calls herself high priestess, to What or Who she was a priestess. She told me to look on her website, but I couldn't find anything about it. It was all about self development and awaking the priestess in yourself.
Just like the countless workshops about awakening 'the Goddess in yourself'. What does that make you? A priestess of yourself?

Yesterday someone told me about another lady who offered a 'goddess workshop' where they all sang "Yemaja Asesu". When asked if she knew who this Goddess is, she had to admit she had no idea. She didn't even know Yemaja is an Orisha, let alone what path of Yemaja is actually invoked with this song.
This kind of workshops are feel good gatherings for women who want to have a good time and have little or nothing to do with actual Goddesses. And thank the Goddess for that, because you really don't want the energies they sing about, to manifest Themselves in circumstances like that. No, you don't!

And yet, I too call myself priestess of the Goddess. It took me a long time before I dared to. I felt no one would take me seriously, while so many others had already diminished the word. But I decided to reclaim it, because no other word expresses so well my relationship to the Goddess.

But every time I feel compelled to explain what it means to me to be a priestess. That I dedicated myself completely to a Divine Being, Who does not need me to exist. That it took me about 25 years to get to know Her. That I allowed Her to take over my life and to turn my house into Her temple. That I, lovingly and out of free will, serve Her with daily ritual, offerings and prayer, with public rituals and a yearly procession.

That is the basics of being a priestess in my book. And there are more responsibilities, like teaching and counseling, serving a community. This is not a weekend hobby, not something you just do when you feel like it, this is not something you can become in a few years and it is not something you can buy with paying for a training and/or an initiation. Maybe it isn't even a choice, but a calling....

There are no rules in paganism, anyone can do what they want (as long as it's within the law) and anyone can call themselves whatever they like. I have no say over it and I want no say over it. But I do have an opinion and I do want to express it.

Basic Training Priestessing

Basic training Priestessing

Priestessing is a modern word, and it's a verb!
It expresses very nicely that being a priest(ess) is not something passive, not something you just are after some kind of initiation, but it is all about the work you do.
Being a  priest(ess) means to be in service of a Goddess or God (or more than one) and working to create a place where the Gods can be present. This can be an altar, sacred space, a temple, and all this together at the same time.

In devotional paganism everyone is free to follow their own path and to contact their Gods, in their own way. A priest(ess) is a person who builds and maintains a kind of highway to make such personal contact easier for anyone who wants to use it.

I will accompany people on their personal path towards becoming a priest(ess)

I won't tell you where to go.  

But I can help you find the way to where you want to go.

I can tell you about the mistakes I made,  

so you know you're not the only fool around.

I will tell you about the lessons I learned
and about the ways that worked for me.

I can support you when things are difficult,
I will celebrate with you when things go smooth.

This is what I have to offer, the real work is yours.

In return I ask your commitment to walk this path together for a year and a day.

I will be teaching:

Shamanic techniques
Meditation
Trance
The use of voice
Divination
Ritual
Magic
Making power tools
And some more that can not easily be put into words

The first year will be all about finding out if becoming a priest(ess) is something for you. All the techniques offered, can and will be used for other purposes, but the main focus of the training will be to establish direct contact with Deities.
We will come together in Amsterdam. Every month for workshops and we will do ceremonies  together, at least every full moon. Some of these workshops and ceremonies will also be open for other participants.
In between we can meet online and you will have home work to do.

We will work in a small group, lessons will start when the first two students have signed up. Others can join in and start their year and a day at any moment they are ready for it. After your first year you can start a second, if and when you are ready for it.

This is a very personal path, without fixed program.
This is the ancient way of teaching!
The costs will be: your commitment, your time, traveling to Amsterdam and a donation for the upkeep of the temple.

If you feel this training might be for you, please contact me, so we can meet and talk about it. In September 2013 there will be an introduction workshop, so you will have a chance to get to know me and my way of teaching. You are also welcome to join in one of my public ceremonies of course.

Email: ziaelohka@gmail.com

A Sacred Place

I started lasts night's ceremony with a thorough personal cleansing - throwing up the soup I didn't really trust, but ate anyhow. Very symbolic and an appropriate preparation for the ceremony I was about to perform.

For about three years I've been working to build the energy in my house temple. Doing most of my ceremonies indoors, focusing on the statue of The Goddess. It's really easy and comfortable to do your rituals at home, with everything you would like to use at hand and not being bothered by rainstorms or ice cold winds.

But my winding path continues and on this full moon evening I met my friends in the park. There is this amazing weeping beech in the Beatrix park where, years ago, I used to do little ceremonies, building little altars that had always been destroyed next time I came back. So I gave up on this place when I needed all my energy for a new project. Looking back it all falls into place ..... part of this project was making the large Goddess statue.... hahahah..... yes, the Universe just kicks you around until you're on the right track!

So when the super moon was hiding behind thick clouds  on this midsummers evening, it felt like the right time to give it another try. To build an altar again on this amazing place, that feels sacred the moment you enter. A natural circle hidden behind the branches that hang down all the way to the ground.

I wasn't feeling well because of this soup and during preparations I had to run away. So I thought I would do the whole thing in a relaxed shamanic way, sitting down, visualizing and praying. But Brother Crow did not agree, as soon as I started greeting the corners he came screeching so loud and persisting, I just had to get up and walk the circle.

It was a lovely ceremony, the elements were circling around, the tree trunk connected the worlds effortlessly, we recreated Ygdrassil and Mimir's well, honoring the wisdom of the Ancient Ones. Raising the energy, grounding and dancing around like the ancestors would have, with our roots in the Earth.

We will come back and do more ceremony there, I will come back to bring offerings. This is an open air, but yet enclosed (in summer) temple. And I invite everyone to go there, in a good way, to meditate, to pray, to bring offerings to Mother Earth, to honour the Ancient Ones -  Keepers of old wisdom, to honour the Nature Spirits - Keepers of the green things.

May all sentient beings live in peace with each other.

After the procession

'post blanket'- dressed in all white

Every year the Goddess Procession turns out to be an initiation into a next level of being Her priestess. And there I was, a few days after the procession, in front of Her altar and She tells me to wrap the statue in a blanket.
"Will I still be able to communicate with You, when You're all wrapped up?", I asked.
"Of course you will", She said.
So I put a white blanket around Her.

For two and a half years this statue has been in my living room, for two and a half years I've been charging it with daily ritual, offerings prayers and meditations.
The last few months She gave me the same message several times: "I am not this statue". And I thought "duh! I know that"
When the bier for this year's procession was ready, I realized it didn't need a statue at all. But I thought it would be too zen, too abstract for the participants to carry an empty bier.

Now the statue in my house temple was wrapped in a big white blanket and the house felt so strange, so empty. OOPS
No statue to greet in the morning, no statue to wish good night.
"Those who seek Me sincerely, will find Me everywhere" I remembered and started to sing 'Ma Amba Lalita Devi'. Her presence was tangible in the temple again.
I sat in front of the altar and She told me to go out and find Her everywhere. And if I don't see or feel Her, I will just have to invoke Her.

4th Goddess Procession Amsterdam

Photo: Margo Dalla

Organizing the Goddess Procession was a difficult journey this year. But in the end I'm so very happy I did it!
And I'm so grateful for the wonderful people who pulled me through!

It was a fantastic afternoon. The singing in the park, while waiting for others to arrive. The lovely bier drew a lot of attention. Most newcomers were easy to be recognized by their colorful clothes.
It was so much fun We danced a spiral to meet each other.
Then three people played their blowing horns, that was such a powerful moment, and of we went.

Four people carrying the bier this time, it was just beautiful. And just like previous times, bystanders smiled and ran to take some more pictures. Cars and bicycles stopped to let us pass.
Only one guy flipped out, shouting things about hel. It made us smile and he could not enter our circle, he tried to approach, but turned round at quite a distance every time.

During the ceremony we dressed Her altar together, we send round Her light and love and everybody made a beautiful wish for the Earth. These wishes were taken home by the participants.
The whole ceremony was flowing on magical music. Some friends were holding the circle for me and I could just do what had to be done, not disturbed by anything. This was never discussed, some wonderful people just did the right thing at the right time. The Goddess had it all perfectly arranged.

I learned a lot this year. About control and letting go of it at the right time. About trust. About friendship. About people. About going back to basics and not to worry about details. About being supported and allowing to be supported. And about the importance of the Goddess Procession and why I have to do it again next year and restore this ancient pagan tradition.