About Freya and The Goddess

When I first discovered modern paganism,  I was fascinated by all the ancient Goddesses. Something awoke in me,  I had dreams about Mesopotamian temples and tried to find books about ancient mythologies. It was in the time before Internet and not at all easy to find information about pre Egyptian cultures. I thought Inanna was the oldest known Goddess and I wanted to get to know Her.

But I got to a point in my life when I decided I wanted to connect with the energies of the land where I live. I wanted to connect with the old Germanic Gods, Who gave Their names to the days of the week. So I shifted my affection to Freya. Freya is one of the Vanir , the Gods Who were there before the Aesir, so She is the oldest well-known Norse Goddess. And on top of that : She taught witchcraft.  What a match!

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't feel Her. Not in the way I could feel the presence of Inanna sometimes,  or Mary when I was a child.
I thought that maybe I was just not trying hard enough.  So I went to the forest one day, to do a ritual and make things right. My focus was: I want to connect with the Goddess of this land.
At the supreme moment I threw my hands in the air and heard me say: I want to dedicate myself to Thor!  (something like that, it was in Dutch of course)

Thor?  Yes Thor.  I'm not sure what happened that moment, but I learned there and then it is not the humans who pick their patron God, it works the other way round.
I didn't really know Thor at that moment, but I love Him with all my heart now. And I'm ever so grateful that He picked me, He is the best friend a girl can have.

 
Years passed by and I started researching seidhr with a friend. Because of this research I visited a group of burial mounts regularly. The people who rest in these mounts, lived in the late neolithics or early bronze age. I would sit on these mounts and go into a trance. In this way I 'met' some spirits, who were not only willing to talk with me, they also wanted to teach me. You can read more about this here

After some meetings with one of these spirit teachers,  I asked about their Gods. He was confused by my question and asked what I was talking about. I started to explain about the powers Who made the sun go round and crops grow, when he interrupted me and said: "oh, you mean She".
"Yes I guess so ",  I said, " what's Her name? "
He answered:" Name?  She has no name, She just IS. "
 
No Freya there either......


 
Then...
I got seriously involved in a project around a crossing of leylines in the the old city of Amsterdam. I never believed in leylines,  but something was definitely there and it got stronger and stronger, the more rituals I performed there.
Part of the project was that we needed to renew an altar for The Goddess there. So I did. But I was far more concerned with my shamanic work and all the other energies there.

I made a statue with paper mache and worked 69 names of Goddesses into it. For the inauguration of the new altar I organized a procession with this statue, along one of the leylines. The Goddess altar and the leyline crossing were in a spiritual bookshop, that went bankrupt soon after the procession. There was just enough time to bring the statue and some of my personal belongings home, before the doors closed and everything else was sold.

I was disappointed and angry. The Goddess statue was wrapped in silk and plastic and I left it somewhere in a corner in my house.  But the procession had been such a success, I had promised people to do it again the next year. I felt obliged to keep my promise.
While preparing for the second procession, I went to a misa spiritual (read here how I got there) and got this message: I had nothing to walk the procession with,  if I did not take the statue out of this corner to recharge it.

 
This is how the Goddess took Her place in my house and in my life. At first I thought it would be for just a few months. But She had other plans!
Now 5 years later,  my living room is Her temple. Don't worry Thor has His place of honor there.
In my daily ritual I call Her 'Vrouwe'.  That is old fashioned Dutch for 'Lady'.  She has no name,  She is the One Who Is.

Now those who know a little about etymology might have noticed something. It took me almost 5 years to realize something I had known much longer. It occurred to me only a few months ago.
What is the old Norse word for lady? 
FREYJA!
Duh!

Morals of the Great Mother

One of my books with stories about Lady Holda

I've been reading a lot about Lady Holda lately, a Goddess who I see as The Great Mother of Northern Europe. All over the internet people have written about who She is on websites and blogs and I won't repeat all that. All I want to write about today are  the folk tales that were still told about Her in the 19th century and the message those stories contain.

These tales are not at all a (re)constructed mythology, written down by poets and priests. These are just stories that tell how common people thought about right and wrong and how a supernatural Female Being would sometimes come and set things right.

When I first read these stories, I thought they were heavily influenced by Christian morality. The good ones are rewarded and the bad ones get punished. But I came to realize that these morals go far beyond Christianity. These values are ancient and show what was common sense for our ancestors.

While reading up on Lady Holda, two modern times messages caught my attention. One was a video going viral on Facebook, about a man with a good heart helping a little boy, who many years later was rewarded for his good deed. The other was an article in a Belgian newspaper about how an employee in a bakery shop was fired, because she had given some leftover cookies to a homeless guy.
One fantasy from Asia and one true story from ‘around the corner’, both retelling the theme of the folk tales about Holda.

Specially the stingy shop keeper reminded me of one of the stories I read about Holda.
It's about a miserly farmer who just hated it that his servant girl gave half of her bread to a poor old lady, who they met daily on their way to the fields. So every day he gave her a smaller piece, but she would always give half of it to the old woman. In the end he gave the girl nothing and she wept bitter tears when she saw the woman and had nothing to give. Other servants found pearls where her tears had fallen on the ground. When the farmer found out, he went back to the place and found a castle where he feasted on lovely foods. He stuffed his pockets with it, but when he came home, it had all turned into cow dung. Realizing what he had been eating, he threw up and flung the content of his pockets to the good girl. She went to the pump to wash it off and heard the tinkling of golden coins...

Many, many stories about this Old Goddess repeat the same message over and over again. Those who have a good heart and are willing to help others, will be rewarded one day. And those who are greedy and cold hearted, will get what is coming to them.
The Great Mother comes to walk among the people to test their hearts. And there is no question about what She does and does not like. It is an ancient value system, the base of any healthy community. It is about the willingness to share and the willingness to help others who are not able to help themselves.

And people nowadays still long for these values. But those are hard to find in this materialistic modern society, where money and short term profit prevail. Hence this YouTube video that everyone loves to share.

I feel this is the reason why more and more people want to get to know The Goddess again. This is why it is time for Her return! It is time to reinstall Her wisdom, with which we can build a healthy society again.


For those who really don't know who Lady Holda is, here is a video I made in Her honor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF5Xgsj-ZCo