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Friday, August 16, 2013

Standstill

Artist: René Linares
Once in a while my life comes to a standstill, due to health problems. Sometimes it's just for a few days and sometimes it lasts a few weeks. On these days my energy gets so low, I can't even do my daily temple rituals.  Almost every time this happens, it is not just a physical crisis, but  a spiritual one as well. Energies are shifting and my body responds.

These are minor shifts compared to the complete change I went through almost 14 years ago, when the life I used to know stopped forever. In hindsight this was a kind of shamanic death, but I didn't know (and couldn’t care less) at that time. My body forced me to stop with everything I used to do. Only after I gave up fighting this, I saw my chance to use all this extra time to intensify my spiritual development.

It made me what I am now.
I discovered shamanism, I met my Spirit Helpers, I followed the calling and found my path.  Slowly I learned to live with chronic pain, to let go, to relax, to heal. Today I can walk without a crutch and ride my bike once more. Never again will I take simple things like this for granted.

Then the Universe had another trick up Its sleeve: asthma.
So once in a while my life comes to a standstill and my energy gets so low, I can't even do the simple daily rituals. And every time I go through the same cycle of anger, denial, resistance, acceptance and surrender.

But in the end, after a lot of despair and struggle, I get this new inspiration. All of a sudden questions I've been asking myself for months are answered and I know what the next turn of my path will be. These periods of ill health almost always turn out to have been an involuntary, but powerful vision quest.

So here I am, I’m back overflowing with inspiration!
My path lies clear in front of me, I know where to go next and I'm ready for it.
I feel blessed by The Great Mother and Gods who always stand by me. They don’t mind some days without incense and all. They know what’s going on and welcome me back with open arms as soon as I’m ready for it. They are my best friends, though I might forget this once in a while ……


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